Nailed by Foul Ball Whilst Skating

          I read a Facebook post this morning that spurred great concern for our little tykes and tots. A siren call for a net over our skate park or batter’s box was intimated to protect our little progenies, due to the fact that the little love monkeys are being pummeled by foul balls, administrated by evil ballplayers at bat. Who could possibly deny them this protection? I recall, as a tyke, in days of yore, that we would station ourselves behind the fence strategically so we could catch foul balls, bare-handed of course. Knuckle-draggers we were—dread the thought. This would be money well spent, assuming we could at least fill the crater on Strothers at David Boren Boulevard first.

          Who in their right mind would want to skate without a net!? I play tennis, with my Tennis Tutor of course, just across the street from said skate park. I think we should broaden the net to include the tennis courts, waterpark, etc. We could even be forward thinking sufficiently to include the old rodeo grounds, just in case we might attract a rodeo or maybe some giant retailer in the near future. Lest we forget our champion swimmers and golfers too! It would be really special if we made the net from Kevlar, which might also protect some innocent from a meteorite. What are the odds…

          I must admit, it would be a form of family embarrassment to have to post on the tombstone of your firstborn male child, “Here lies l’il Jeffrey, nailed by a foul ball whilst skating.” Dread the thought.

Just think, Seminole could become the global model for safe spaces interspersed in various places around town. Downtown, we need safe spaces surrounded by fireproof lining, in addition to the overhead nets, due to the mysterious spontaneous combustion events that appear out of nowhere from time to time. Who’s on first? OMG!!!