was Brides Matron. Barney Frank sang, "You'll Never Walk Alone" [Mezzo Soprano]. The chapel was decorated with dancing ponies aloft a rainbow with a mauve and lavender background. NAMBLA happily provided the ushers for the groom and Jeep and Subaru Outback provided ushers for the bride. The bride was wearing pink Speedos with carefully and strategically placed, custom-sewn sequins, it was wearing no top but was sporting a beautiful body painting likeness of Liza Minnelli. Photos provided to this paper could not be displayed due to the fact they were rated XXX. Gifts for the attendees were a choice of Cat 'o Nine Tails or Riding Crops. Hillary & Bill refused to attend due to the asserting this wedding was timed to upstage the upcoming troths of Chelsea. Rumor has it that Liberace returned to play keyboards. Witnesses reported gerbils running amuck following the services. TOTUS made a satelite appearance. Cher, Liza and The Police provided the post-services music as pole dancers from Chip 'n Dales provided other entertaining feats, none of which could be photographed for this story. Attempts to obtain comments from the parental units were impossible due to their inebriated state--face-down in the ditch. Elton John's satellite feed went blinky.
Posted via email from tunkin67's posterous
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